Daniel and I have been talking a lot about how to really enjoy the holidays, and not just feel like we’re surviving them. It’s hard to put your finger on exactly where the excitement turns to anxiety, and the fun plans turn into burdens. It’s probably different for everyone, but for us the overwhelming feeling happens when we start overspending and over committing. We can’t buy it all, and we can’t do it all, but every year we try. This year we are trying to take it slow, start a few traditions and make lasting memories as a family of three.
The best way to simplify Christmas as a family is to prioritize what’s important to you and see what activities coincide with that. For us Christmas is about making memories as a family, and celebrating the birth of Jesus. We simply aren’t prioritizing the obligations that hinder our joy. It doesn’t mean we won’t do them, but it means we won’t stress if we don’t. They aren’t requirements for December, they don’t have to be done, and when some of them inevitably don’t work out we are okay!
For every event, tradition, and obligation, I have to consider does this help my family make memories, and celebrate the birth of Jesus?
Gifting
Christmas shopping is so stressful without a plan. Parts of gift giving definitely help make memories, and hopefully through giving we are able to celebrate the gift of Jesus. In years past we’ve basically just bought whatever we wanted for each person or gift exchange. While I love gifting, it has hit our credit card hard at Christmas. Luckily, using our credit card is a thing of the past so we had to actually have the cash for each purchase this year. That required saving, budgeting, and shopping smart. Don’t think we are Scrooge’s, we LOVE giving gifts, Daniel especially. He’s pretty much the most generous person on earth, besides my mom. We just can’t afford to go overboard anymore, and hopefully it’ll teach our kiddos about being generous with your time and love even when you don’t have any money.
Set an overall budget, based on how much you’ve saved or allocated out of your paycheck for Christmas. Make a list of every person you are buying a gift for. Choose an amount for each gift, based on the overall budget. Kids gifts are the best place to cut costs because there are so many cousins in most families that if you’re spending $30 per person, it really adds up! Also, kids don’t realize the value of something, especially if you picked it out based on their interests.
If gift giving is a major stress on your heart and wallet then take a step back and see why. Are you giving gifts because it’s an expectation? Are you spending too much? If your reasons for giving gifts don’t align with your priorities then it’s going to cause anxiety and frustration.
Christmas Parties
We love our friends and family, but there are so many of them. I never understood the stress of family get togethers until we got married and suddenly had five different Christmas parties! Our families aren’t even divorced, but we still see extended family so they take up almost every weekend of December. The only ones we HAVE to be at are immediate family, that’s who we want to make memories with and spend time with. With just one baby, we are still able to go to ALL the family Christmas parties, but eventually we won’t attend every year.
Church Events
There are so many amazing opportunities to serve during the holidays, but remember that serving your family comes first. When Daniel and I were single we spent hours a week volunteering, and when we had no kids we were able to as well. Now I completely understand why most volunteers are empty nesters, and singles. God has given parents a very specific and demanding task to serve their families. Don’t feel guilty about not being able to hand out Christmas dinners, be an usher at church, or volunteer in the nursery. If your kids are older, YES DO THOSE THINGS TOGETHER, but with an infant we just can’t. In this season, church is a place for rest and recharging. Yes we will still be involved with our life group and a part of Bible study, but we aren’t going to pile on the extra holiday volunteering that Christians feel pressured to do.
Giving and Serving
Loving others is such a beautiful part of Christmas, and can be done without signing up for ten different church events. I’ve been brainstorming ways to serve and give without over committing. A really simple way to love on your friends and family is with $5 Starbucks gift cards. You can text them straight to them if you have the app, and it is the easiest way to spread some joy. Especially for those teacher friends. If money is tight, think about what you can make! I made little Christmas cookie mix in a jar a few years ago that was really inexpensive but the perfect gift for neighbors or coworkers. Another way to serve is asking if there’s any “homework” you could do for a teacher or your church. I promise that your kids teacher has a million things to cut out, laminate, staple, and grade. Ask what you can help with!! My church even offered me a little diy take home crafting project for Christmas decorations. It was so great to be able to serve during Sawyer’s naptime. Don’t let service or expensive gifting cause you stress. Do what you can, when you can, how you can.
Take Aways
Before the season gets away from us let’s slow down and consider our priorities. If we don’t, we are sure to get caught up in the Christmas consumer culture that will leave us empty!
1. What are your priorities this Christmas?
2. How can you slow down, and focus on what matters to you
3. What obligations, burdens, and traditions can you rid yourself of to really focus on your priorities?
If you’re married, talk to your husband about what he thinks Christmas is about and how you can work together to create a home that reflects your values. If you’re single, consider how you can foster relationships with family and friends that encourage your priorities. Jesus is all about relationship. He became flesh and dwelt among us. Let’s celebrate his incarnation through the entire holiday season!
