*** I wrote this the day before I went into labor with Sawyer. I wasn't able to do a lot of the things I planned on doing, but I still wanted to share!***

Count downs are the best. Counting down to vacation. Counting down to our wedding. Counting down to summer. Counting down to Christmas. 

Counting down to a baby is INTENSE. Way more serious than counting down to anything else in my life. I would compare the excitement to how I felt before our wedding. The joy and anticipation is unreal. The butterflies in my stomach is a baby though instead of just excitement.  I have this overwhelming feeling that she could be here tomorrow, but I know that realistically it could be a two more weeks. Everyday I wonder "Is this the day?" "Is this her birthday?". 

I have been having crazy pelvic pressure since 36 weeks, and my Braxton Hicks contractions have been increasing in consistency. People are starting to ask me "you're still pregnant?" and "you're still working?". My students are seriously wondering when they finally get a substitute, instead of this boring pregnant lady that sits on her yoga ball chair all day. I'm pretty sure they were all surprised that I came back after Spring Break and will be even more surprised when I'm back after Easter! If other people are ready for me to finally have this baby, imagine how I feel! Instead of just sitting around waiting on Sawyer to make her appearance. I'm spending my time wisely. I'm still working and coaching so that takes up most of my time, but I also want to fill my time when I'm not at work.

These last few weeks have me craving more time for myself and more time with Daniel. I know that adult time will be really inconsistent/nonexistent once Sawyer is here so I've got some fun stuff planned for the last few weeks while she is still baking! 

I'm getting a pedicure on Monday. I never do this. I've had two manicures and maybe one pedicure in the past three years... I honestly hate spending our hard earned money on something so temporary, but I deserve it! That's super hard to tell myself. I've carried a baby for 9 months which is hard work, so in the words of Tom from Parks and Rec "treat yo self". 

I'm having a reflexology foot massage! Daniel got me a gift card early in my pregnancy without realizing that a foot massage was not a great idea for a pregnant lady before 37 weeks, but now I get to finally enjoy his gift. Hopefully this will help me relax and kickstart labor. 

Also, I'm going to make sure to get adjusted by the chiropractor every week, and then the day of labor as well. I had never been to a chiropractor before pregnancy, and now I'm a full supporter of it! I have heard it will make delivery so much smoother if everything is in the right place. My chiropractor (New Beginnings Chiropractor in Keller) offers induction massage that I will be taking advantage of too! I'm having mine on Saturday, so about a week before her due date. 

So all that stuff is for me. I want to spoil myself before I completely lose all my personal time, but I also want to spend a ton of time with Daniel. It's crazy to think that it will NEVER be just the two of us again. We will forever be mom and dad instead of just Daniel and Kelsey.  Daniel and I love seeing movies, and going to dinner together. We go to the movies at least once a week, sometimes even more if there are a ton of new releases. We even have a movie club membership with Cinemark.... because we go that often. Which honestly it's worth it even if you only go to the movies once a month. The point is that we have seen a lot of movies in these last few weeks. I hope we still make date nights a priority, and I imagine our first date night will be to go see Avengers Infinity War at the end of April.

We are thrilled to meet this sweet girl in two weeks (hopefully less), but I'm enjoying every single moment until she makes her arrival! 

Sawyer Denise Crowson
April 2, 2018
8:41 AM
7 Lbs 7 Oz
20 Inches

We have a daughter.  I'm looking at her beautiful face, and asking myself how we got here. Daniel and I feel like we are living in a dream. Sawyer's birth was the single most amazing experience of my life. I have never felt so strong, loved, and confident. The term "Mom" has so much meaning to me now. God created this little baby for us to cherish, protect, and raise to love Him. I am so thankful that God has blessed us with Sawyer Denise Crowson.




   

Due Date

My due date was originally April 17th, but we found out that we would probably need to deliver early at my 34 week appointment. Sawyer was measuring large from the very beginning, and the last thing we wanted on our hands was a 9 lbs baby. I love chunky babies, but the idea of delivering her that large seemed impossible. Especially being my first baby. Sorry if that sounds terrible, but it's a scary thought. My doctor suggested inducing a little early to prevent the possibility of needing a c-section if she was past her due date. We set her induction to April 15th, but I prayed that she would be here earlier.

The dates say so much about our sweet Sawyer. April 17th is her cousin Claire's birthday, April 15th is her Uncle Mark's birthday, and April 2nd is her Aunt Allie's birthday. Sawyer was very determined to steal someone's birthday. We have a drama queen on our hands.

At our first OB appointment I told my doctor that we were going to have an Easter baby. She said she ALWAYS delivers a baby on Easter Sunday. I obviously had no idea when we would have our little girl, but it's so funny that it ended up being so close to the day I said we would.

Day Of

April 1st was Easter Sunday, but Daniel was working at the fire station so we had already gone to church on Good Friday. I spent the morning resting, doing chores, and enjoying my day off before I had to head back to work on Monday. I had talked to Daniel about trying to induce labor starting on April 6th. All the normal methods that people swear by. I planned a pedicure, induction massage, reflexology foot massage, and a few other things. I also planned on doing some hardcore cleaning to get things going. I even have a post that I was going to share about the last few weeks of pregnancy. I really didn't think I would actually be holding my sweet girl this soon. I hadn't intentionally tried to induce labor, but looking back it seems like I was!

That Sunday I really felt the need to get everything done to prepare for Sawyer. I scrubbed the shower, tub, toilets, floors, and did three loads of laundry.... I even bought some red raspberry leaf tea to prepare for labor and drank my first cup of it that morning. I was oblivious to the fact that all of these things could definitely help labor move along, but now it seems like I did everything I could to go into labor without even realizing it. Hindsight is 20/20. I even filled out the third trimester section in my baby book that morning! 

Labor

Daniel and I wanted it to be just us during the labor and delivery. We also wanted some alone time as soon as she was born. Honestly, we made the baby, we wanted to deliver the baby. Labor is such an intimate experience that Daniel is the only person I wanted there. We made sure to tell our families this ahead of time so there was no day of drama, or hurt feelings. This is a personal preference, I know lots of people want their entire families in the room. I ended up letting my mom, dad, and sister come in and say hi for a few minutes about an hour before we started pushing. 

Even though I was 8 cm, we waited to push until my doctor got there and made her rounds.
Next to the epidural, this was the BEST part of the whole experience. I had no idea what to expect, and wasn't sure how much I would feel. Our doctor is so fun and we both get along with her really well. We both feel really comfortable being ourselves in front of her. We spent the whole "pushing" part cracking jokes and making movie references. I kept referencing the office, and even brought up the part in Talledega Nights where Ricky Bobby stabs his leg because he says he cant feel them. That's what an epidural is like. I literally could've stabbed my leg. The nurse asked me to please not stab my leg... I don't think she's seen Talledega Nights. Daniel even played the theme song from Indiana Jones because of some inside joke with our doctor. I looked over at one point and Daniel was taking selfies with me.... legs in the stirrups and everything. I never expected to say labor was fun, but it was the best!!!! I am so glad I had an epidural because I know the experience would've been very different if I was in constant pain.

 At 8 am we started pushing, and by 8:41 am Sawyer was here!!!! We were both crying, and praising God for our sweet daughter that He entrusted us with. I felt so calm and confident through out the entire experience. God truly gave me peace that surpasses understanding. 

First Hour

As they placed her on my chest I couldn't help but cry from the joy of her birth. I thought about all the time I'd spent praying, preparing, and planning for her. All of the pain and exhaustion were worth it. I held her and cuddled her and soaked in every second of her. I fed her pretty quickly after she was born for almost an hour, and it was like she already knew exactly what to do. I couldn't believe that bond that we already had. This precious little babe that I had carried for nine months.

Daniel was so in love with her. I know he wanted to hold her the entire time, but gave me time with our daughter. I had never felt so loved by him before. It was like bringing a child into this world together completely changed our relationship in the best way. It was no longer selfish, but selfless. We both immediately realized that so much more mattered than just ourselves.

I have tried to take pictures throughout pregnancy because I don't want to forget all the changes and experiences I've gone through. Honestly, I've fallen short on keeping up with bump pictures. Life is busy, pregnancy is hard, and pictures went on the back burner. This made maternity pictures even more important to me. I have obviously gone through moments of "I feel fat", but they've usually been out of hormones than actual perception of myself. I have felt so confident and beautiful during my pregnancy. This is not something I expected at all, so having these pictures that capture that confidence is meaningful. 

My sweet friend Ashley Jordan asked me about doing maternity pictures a few months ago, and I was so excited to have a friend do them! I felt so comfortable with her, and Daniel loved how helpful she was with posing instructions. She only does this on the side, but if you ask me she should do photography full time! Not really though because we work together.... so don't leave Ashley!!!!! Check out her website if you are in the area and interested in photos. 

Oh my goodness. I have all the feels just looking at these pictures. Daniel has got the sexy smolder down for sure, but he was actually whispering "pizza" into my ear the whole time. We were picking up pizza afterwards... which is how you get your husband to take lovey maternity pictures with you. He also told me lots of dad jokes to keep us laughing the whole time. 

 I love how natural and comfortable we look. Ashley really captured our relationship, joy, and anticipation! Thank you so much for these pictures that we will cherish forever. 

xoxo,

kelsey 

I'm a huge planner. I make lists, I have an extensive calendar, and I overthink every possible outcome of every situation. I was like that for so many parts of this pregnancy. When we found out we had placenta previa at twenty weeks, I spent so much time researching and planning and trying to understand what to expect. Then the placenta moved. Placenta previa gone. All of that anxiety and worry was unnecessary. God is always faithful. Even if it hadn't moved we would have had a c-section, and all of my worry would have still been unnecessary. The verse that I repeat over and over again in my mind is "Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 

I say this to myself multiple times a day. Not just since I've been pregnant, but for a few years now. 

I made a birth plan in my first trimester. I spent about thirty minutes answering some general questions on a birth plan website and it created one for me. It was pretty unexciting. I've never had a baby before, so I didn't have any huge requests. Actually, as I was trying to create a birth plan I realized there wasn't much I wanted besides my baby. All the details seemed unimportant. It's so tempting to focus on the details, to attempt to control every aspect of the day, and to become overwhelmed with perfection. I've heard of so many women who planned out their entire birth experience start to finish, and none of it happened. Leaving them upset and bitter.

I threw my birth plan away. I realized that I couldn't control anything, and I don't want to.  I don't need my insecurities about delivery blemishing the beautiful plan that God has for Sawyer's birth. I don't want to walk away saying "I wish things had gone as I planned".

 I remind myself that "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" Isaiah 55:9 

All that being said, it seems like I do have a birth plan. I plan to be at the hospital with my husband and deliver our baby. Honestly, this "plan" isn't for everyone. If you've had multiple babes, you know exactly what you want. You have realistic expectations and know what your body is capable of. I am in no way against birth plans. I just don't want one. Maybe for our next few babies I'll have specific requests, but I'm leaving it all in the hands of God.

I'm not completely free of anxiety. I know that it's going to be one of the most difficult, trying, and emotional days of my life. It's also going to be a day that I never forget. I will cherish the entire experience forever. I can't wait to deliver our sweet baby girl into the world.

Did you have a birth plan? I'd love to hear your experience! 

xoxo,

kelsey

I spent all of spring break nesting! I had no idea what that even was until I got pregnant, and then it hit me. I have been so exhausted that Daniel had to take over a lot of the cleaning (thank God that this man is so task oriented) to make sure the house stayed somewhat presentable. We will be so overwhelmed with the new baby that I wanted to prepare our home to stay clean throughout those first few months. I had to make a checklist for myself to use, and honestly it made it so easy to get it all done. 

This was very ambitious at 35 weeks pregnant. I didn't know if it would all actually happen, or if I was being unrealistic. Luckily I spaced it out enough that we were able to get it all done! Also, I took the week off from working out (mostly because of some pelvic pain) so that gave me some added energy too!

We completely finished the nursery before spring break, so I had plenty of time to get everything else done. If you haven't finished your nursery, I would definitely suggest doing that before all the extra clenaing! To see the most important part of nesting, check out Sawyer's nursery reveal!

• Baby supplies in kitchen
• Linen closet
• Tupperware cabinet
• Bookshelves
• Baby clothes/closet
• Our closet 
• Bathroom cabinets
• Under the kitchen sink/cleaning supplies
• Pantry 
• Junk drawer (everyone has that dreaded junk drawer)

Woah. How did we get here?

I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant, and can't believe this baby could be here NEXT week at the earliest. It honestly feels like the shortest and longest nine months of my life. People always say the third trimester is the longest, but it's been flying by. I may change my mind these next few weeks though. The bigger I get the more I can attest to being uncomfortable those last months. I swear my belly has grown every day this trimester! 

How I'm Feeling

The end of the second trimester and the beginning of the third trimester were so easy. Besides being large, I didn't even notice many symptoms. I started off the third trimester walking a mile a day, and working out a few times a week. I started having some intense pelvic pain the past few weeks that has kept me from being able to walk. Luckily my chiropractor was able to alleviate that a lot of the pain, so my goal is to start walking/exercising 3-4x a week again. 

Sleeping is my favorite and least favorite part of my day. By the time I get into bed I am so excited that I fall right asleep, then wake up 3-4x every night because I'm uncomfortable, my arm is asleep, or I have to pee. I pretty much sleep from 6-8 hours every night depending on if I'm able to fall back to sleep after waking up. A few items that have helped me sleep are sleepy time tea, my pregnancy pillow, and my wedge pillow. I don't use all of these every night, I've found that I do better if I don't have the exact same thing every night. I only use my big pregnancy pillow on nights that Daniel is at the station. When he is home he's my pillow and I just use the wedge in between my legs. 

My emotions have been all over the place these past few weeks. I pretty much had no mood swings until now, and I thought I was free and clear. Suddenly the weirdest things have made me cry. Not just like tear up, but literally start sobbing. Daniel started playing some Veggie Tales song the other day, and my emotions exploded. I had a full on panic/crying/hyperventilating attack because I couldn't handle how annoying it was... yeah that's insane. Then we were watching Mulan with my niece, and I started sobbing at the scene where Mulan's dad gets called back into the military. I can honestly say this is the first time I've cried during Mulan even though I've seen it 100 times. Let's hope my hormones level out, or I will be a hot mess when Sawyer is born. 

Cravings have consisted of vegetable straws... these are so good. I could eat a million of them. I'm obsessed with Fairlife chocolate milk. When I wake up in the middle of the night with a growling stomach, chocolate milk is my go to. It keeps me full until the morning, and it's full of 13g of protein! I was making omelets every morning, but the egg started making me sick recently. I did not expect to still be throwing up occasionally in the third trimester, but I'm pretty naive as a first time mom. 

Looking Forward To

The third trimester pretty much consists of looking forward to having our baby. I can't wait for the whole delivery. I'm super nervous, but I know that it will be over in a blink of an eye. I want to soak up the entire experience, and hopefully my nerves settle as we get closer. I realize that I have no control, and just want to step back for God to work! This baby is coming out one way or another. 

At this point all my showers have passed, which were absolutely amazing! Those really helped the time pass quickly at the beginning of the third trimester. We already took two shoots of maternity pictures. I can't wait to share them with you. They are jaw droppingly gorgeous. 

I'm currently on Spring Break, and can say that I am very much looking forward to maternity leave and summer break with our little family of three. I know that we will be exhausted form our new babe, but honestly work has been brutal while pregnant. Luckily our due date fell at the perfect time so I get mid April-August off! I am so grateful for this extended maternity leave because I know so many moms have to go back to work just 12 weeks after their babe is born. Also, Daniel is taking a month of paternity leave. We are so blessed to be able to have an entire month together to get used to parenting before he returns to his 24 on 48 off schedule!

Regular clothes. I want to wear my normal clothes again. Maternity clothes are comfy, but honestly I'm so sick of them. Especially for work. I currently fit in about 10 work clothing items, and just have to rotate through them. I hate that! I have a full closet, but never have anything to wear for work. Luckily I still fit into most of my athletic clothes (because stretchy). I have found myself gravitating to Daniel's t shirts instead of my own for wearing around the house. 

Products I Love

We have received so many gifts that I'm counting down the days to use with our babe. I don't feel confident reviewing products yet because we obviously haven't tested anything, but I still want to share what we are excited about. 

Our Britax stroller and carseat are patiently waiting in the garage to be used. We plan on taking Sawyer and Obi (our Aussie) on a walk every morning so our stroller will get a ton of use. 

The owlet was a must have for Daniel. He was quite adamant about getting it because of his experience as a firefighter/paramedic. We want that assurance that our baby is safe at night when we can't be constantly checking on her. 

At first she will be sleeping in our room in our Graco pack n play. I am so excited to have this all in one changer, sleeper, and storage area within 3 feet. Hopefully it works out perfectly for us. We didn't go with the Dockatot or another co-sleeper because we have two animals that sleep with us. I honestly love our pets being in the bed with us, and wouldn't want to change that. I sleep alone on nights that Daniel is on shift so I need my dog in the bed! 

Another favorite is the Fisher Price Baby Dome. We will be using this at the lake and pool all summer because it has a full coverage dome, and UV protection. I also love it because in the house we can lay her down in it without Obi being able to run her over. Obi is the perfect dog for kids, but I'm just being overly cautious until he gets used to having her around! 

As I use these items I will do a round up of must-haves for the first month! I know most of these products are used for a few months max, but they are so important for surviving as new parents. We will be storing them in the attic to use with all our future babes as soon as Sawyer grows out of them. 

Overall, the third trimester has been my chance to nest and prepare emotionally for our new baby. It has given Daniel some much needed alone time, but also plenty of time to nest. I am so grateful that Sawyer will be here in less than a month, and all of our preparation will be worth it. I already love her so much! 

xoxo,

kelsey

Everyone I know was so excited that it's a girl! Immediately people imagine adorable clothes, lots of pink, and sparkly headbands. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to all of the cute girl stuff! What I'm concerned about it what happens at around 12 years old... when her best friend hurts her feelings, when a boy decides he doesn't like her anymore, or when she starts wearing makeup. That's the scary stuff, but luckily I've got a little while to prepare. 

Luckily I have an amazing, sweet, loving husband who will be the BEST girl dad. Our little girl will be full of confidence because she'll know that she's unconditionally loved by Jesus, but also by her daddy! Me too, of course, but a little girl having the security of a loving dad is so important to her confidence. Knowing that I have Daniel to raise our precious baby girl helped ease my nerves about being a girl mom. 

I've been really open about my nerves, which has really been a blessing because I've gotten some great advice and reassurance. Some of the sweetest encouragement that I've heard is that having a girl first is so great for all of the children that follow. A girl will want to help with her baby brothers and sisters. She will want to hold and cuddle with all her siblings! I came home that day so excited to tell Daniel about that, and he completely understood how much of blessing that would be. We plan to have a bajillion kids so having an older sister who wants to love on and help with her siblings will be such a blessing. 

Now that I'm completely on board with being a girl mom, I can't wait to start preparing her room and clothes! Pink has always been my favorite color, so this will be fun. 

xoxo, 

kelsey