Why I Don't Have a Birth Plan

I'm a huge planner. I make lists, I have an extensive calendar, and I overthink every possible outcome of every situation. I was like that for so many parts of this pregnancy. When we found out we had placenta previa at twenty weeks, I spent so much time researching and planning and trying to understand what to expect. Then the placenta moved. Placenta previa gone. All of that anxiety and worry was unnecessary. God is always faithful. Even if it hadn't moved we would have had a c-section, and all of my worry would have still been unnecessary. The verse that I repeat over and over again in my mind is "Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 

I say this to myself multiple times a day. Not just since I've been pregnant, but for a few years now. 

I made a birth plan in my first trimester. I spent about thirty minutes answering some general questions on a birth plan website and it created one for me. It was pretty unexciting. I've never had a baby before, so I didn't have any huge requests. Actually, as I was trying to create a birth plan I realized there wasn't much I wanted besides my baby. All the details seemed unimportant. It's so tempting to focus on the details, to attempt to control every aspect of the day, and to become overwhelmed with perfection. I've heard of so many women who planned out their entire birth experience start to finish, and none of it happened. Leaving them upset and bitter.

I threw my birth plan away. I realized that I couldn't control anything, and I don't want to.  I don't need my insecurities about delivery blemishing the beautiful plan that God has for Sawyer's birth. I don't want to walk away saying "I wish things had gone as I planned".

 I remind myself that "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" Isaiah 55:9 

All that being said, it seems like I do have a birth plan. I plan to be at the hospital with my husband and deliver our baby. Honestly, this "plan" isn't for everyone. If you've had multiple babes, you know exactly what you want. You have realistic expectations and know what your body is capable of. I am in no way against birth plans. I just don't want one. Maybe for our next few babies I'll have specific requests, but I'm leaving it all in the hands of God.

I'm not completely free of anxiety. I know that it's going to be one of the most difficult, trying, and emotional days of my life. It's also going to be a day that I never forget. I will cherish the entire experience forever. I can't wait to deliver our sweet baby girl into the world.

Did you have a birth plan? I'd love to hear your experience! 

xoxo,

kelsey