Sleep: Months 1-8
Friday, December 14, 2018
I knew from the beginning that we would sleep train. I hate that it has such a negative connotation, because teaching a baby to sleep is not bad. My simple reasoning for wanting to sleep train is that I like to sleep because I feel better when I do, therefore I can parent better when I’m less exhausted. I think any mom would agree with that. Parenting is easier when you don’t feel like you’re going to pass out. If I feel better after a full nights sleep, then I know that Sawyer does to! Especially because she’s growing so quickly during this first year of life, and that all happens while she sleeps. That being said, if what you’re doing works for your family (cosleeping, bedsharing, nursing to sleep, rocking) then that’s totally fine. Do what works for you! Don’t fix what isn’t broken!
Months 1-2
We were careful not to let every nap happen in the same place during the first few months. A few in her dock a tot, a few in the swing, some in our arms, in the car seat while out, and in the carrier. It was simple, feed her, play a little, sleep! At night I’d wake her up every three hours to nurse until the pediatrician gave me the go ahead to let her sleep around 1 month. I followed the basic outline of Baby Wise for the first few months which really helped me as a first time mom. We were getting 2 hour stretches in the first month, then 3-4 hours the next, and I think the longest ever was maybe 5-6.
Months 3-4
I realized I had gotten into the habit of rocking and paci replacing to get Sawyer to sleep. This is also when her naps turned to 40 minutes on the dot. I knew the rocking had to stop because the second I laid her down she’d wake up. The rocking wasn’t an issue for a few months, and I urge you to soak up the cuddles while you can, but for us it became a problem. I wasn’t going to hold Sawyer all night long. I tried a few different things, like rocking for shorter and shorter amounts of time, laying her down and bouncing the crib mattress until I saw her fall asleep then slowly stopping. Eventually we were able to lay her down awake and her put herself to sleep. This was all thanks to the navigating 3-4 months from Taking Cara Babies. It helped us slowly transition Sawyer from completely relying on us for her sleep, to becoming more independent while still having night feedings when hungry. This is definitely when you have to determine if a baby is hungry, or if a baby is looking for comfort. Always feed a hungry baby. During month 3, Sawyer had a few nights of waking up every 90 minutes wanting to be nursed or have her paci replaced. This is also when she started sleeping about 8-10 hours with the 3-4 month guide.
Months 5-6
We got the ABC’s of Sleep as soon as Sawyer was 5 months. She was already sleeping pretty well, but I wanted to be prepared for any regressions or issues. I read it and watched the videos, but didn’t completely implement it for a few weeks. She also finally started napping longer than 40 minutes around 6 months, so we transitioned to 3, 60-90 minute naps. We really started implementing ABC’s of sleep when Sawyer was waking up at 4-5 am every morning. She was sleeping about 10 hours, waking up and crying for 30 minutes, then going back to sleep for another hour. It was so hard to be consistent because I just wanted to give in and get her up for the day. The early morning wakings finally resolved after a few weeks of fussing every morning. It got shorter and shorter, and sometimes didn’t happen at all! By 7 months she was sleeping until at least 6.
5 Month Schedule6 Month Schedule
Taking Cara Babies ABC's Of Sleep
Months 7-8
Sawyer has never been a quiet sleeper. When she was a newborn she was loud, and would grunt, and cry out, but still be completely asleep. That didn’t end until recently! Everytime she transitioned from sleep cycle to sleep cycle she would fuss and cry for 30 seconds-5 minutes. I had no idea that this was normal, and would’ve assumed she needed me if it wasn’t for all the reading I did. That fussing and crying out at night during transitions has finally lessened! She sometimes will fuss for 30 seconds at around 2 am or 4 am then go right back to sleep. She’s taking 2 naps a day that are 60-120 minutes each. Sometimes she’ll still take a catnap in the car too.
7 Month Schedule8 Month Schedule
Lots of people told me I got lucky with a good sleeper. They didn’t see the dedication and tears (hers and mine) that prayed and researched how to help her sleep independently. Honestly I think Sawyer is a really bad sleeper. She loves to sleep, but she had no clue how. It took weeks of transitioning from rocking to being in the crib for naps. It took months to resolve the 5 am wake ups. It took consistency to keep her from needing her pacifier replaced throughout the night. This could be a very different story. Of exhaustion, defeat, bed-sharing and nursing all night because I didn’t have the tools to teach her to sleep. I’m passionate about sleep training because moms need space, babies need sleep, and husbands need their wives.
Why We Chose Taking Cara Babies!
Why We Chose Taking Cara Babies!
Taking Cara Babies
Thursday, December 13, 2018
I’m all about giving children the gift of independence, especially when it comes to sleep. Just like eating, sleeping is a fundamental skill that will last them a lifetime. I did a ton of research into different programs before deciding on Taking Cara Babies ABC's of Sleep. I also used her Navigating 3-4 months guide and that set a strong foundation for Sawyer. With our next baby, I will definitely take the newborn course for all of her amazing strategies during those first weeks. As I share my love for Taking Cara Babies, but I’m being careful not to give away all the juicy details and trade secrets that you’ll find in the classes. So if you have a specific question that I didn't answer, feel free to comment below or message me on Instagram. This is mostly an overview of Taking Cara Babies, rather than our personal experience because most people are asking IF they should try it. If you're looking for our personal sleep experience from months 1-8 (with links to her monthly schedules), head to this post. Taking Cara Babies worked for us, and they have a 98% success rate that your baby will sleep 10-12 hours by the end of 14 nights (probably sooner).
Why Cara
There are tons of different methods, but Cara’s is based on child development, being emotionally available, and self soothing. I really felt like I could trust her expertise because of her background as a nurse, and years of experience. I also read lots of her blog posts and watched her Instagram stories to see if her program would be the right fit for us. A big plus to me is that she allows pacifiers! I’m a paci advocate all the way, but that’s a blog post for another time haha.
Crying
It does involve crying, because your baby is going to protest the change. Taking Cara Babies is very clear that they will cry. Also, Sawyer still fusses as she cycles from sleep cycle to sleep cycle. She’s not upset, she’s not hungry, she’s just a noisy sleeper. We all hate hearing a baby cry. It’s the worst. I promise you that a few nights of crying is going to save you nightly crying during bedtime, and throughout the night for soothing. We also struggled for a few months with early morning wakings that she would cry for 20-30 minutes around 5 am then go back to sleep. Early mornings are the last issue to resolve, but sure enough she’s sleeping until 6-7 now.
Schedules
Cara’s guide provides a lot of sample schedules, but she’s sure to tell you that every baby and every day is different. She really explains wake times, nap lengths, and prime bedtimes so you understand there’s a lot of variables for each family. That way you’re able to make a schedule that works for your family. It doesn’t have to be extremely strict to see an improvement in sleep so it’s perfect for more relaxed mamas or type A's like me!
Naps
Cara gives so much insight into naps, and why they seem like such a beast compared to nighttime sleep. Apparently naps and nighttime sleep use different parts of the brain… WHAT!! So you’ve got to teach both, but nighttime will probably resolve first. The approach to naps is the same as bedtime, but you can conquer them at the same time or nights first then naps.
Feedings
Cara gives you tools to wean night feedings slowly to maintain milk supply! She also leaves room for your discernment about whether your baby still needs a feeding early in the night. All night feedings after 11pm are completely weaned though. Make sure your pediatrician has approved that your baby can sleep through the night without a feeding.
Results
Because I did the 3-4 month guide, my experience is a little different than someone who had no foundation before ABCs of Sleep. Sawyer was already sleeping 8-10 hours when we started so the improvements seemed a lot less drastic for us. You will definitely see your baby sleeping 10-12 hours in just a few days. If you’re having any difficulties, then you can schedule a phone call with a sleep consultant to discuss specifics. I’ve found that many sleep issues we’ve had, like early morning wakings and short naps, are covered on Cara’s blog!
The biggest thing I’ve learned from Cara is that sleep is not linear, especially when they’re young. A baby may sleep 12 hours for a week, and then have a rough night because wake times were off or naps were rough. Be consistent anyway. Your consistency will help your baby know that they have one option- to sleep. Even if you aren’t interested in sleep training, or have no sleep issues, @takingcarababies is just fun to follow!
IG: @takingcarababies
Website: takingcarababies.com
Blog: takingcarababies.com/blog
Six ways to Spend Less
Tuesday, December 11, 2018
I've shared a lot about our budget cuts since I became a stay at home mom. People always ask me how I go without spending tons on new clothes, eating out as much, or having a car. I've shared a lot of the why, but not the how that makes it possible! Having a WHY you're doing something is the only way to stick to it, but there has to be a HOW to make it happen.
So to refresh your memory about some of our major budget cuts, read Budget Cuts to Become a SAHM!
1. Remind Yourself WHY
If you're struggling to manage your spending, remind yourself why you need to. WRITE down your why. If I write something down, it is ingrained in my mind way more than if I think or say it. Every time you want to spend on something you don't need, remind yourself why you shouldn't
2. Use Cash Only
This means you have to SAVE up the money for purchases. If we buy something online then we deposit the cash back into our checking account to pay for it.
3. Delete your Amazon app
If you are an amazonaholic, and constantly take advantage of that prime shipping (cough cough daniel) then delete the app. That simple. If you have to take the extra step to log into your account to order something, it gives you a moment to consider if you really need it.
4. Stay Home
We spend 100% more money when we go out than staying home. We end up eating out, buying new clothes, or spending it on entertainment. On months when we are completely out of our miscellaneous budget, then we are staying home. This is super hard for my husband who isn't a homebody like me.
5. Don't Click the Ads or Online Shop
If you know you are trying to save money, why torture yourself by heading to Nordstrom's website for that sale. Just because its on sale doesn't mean you need it. I promise it will go on sale again.
6. Unfollow Influencers That Encourage You To Spend Money
This isn't something I've done because I personally don't feel pressured to buy those $200 Madewell jeans, but lots of people do. I follow fashion bloggers for outfit inspiration that I can use clothes I already have for. If you see a top on liketoknowit you have to have, and end up buying something new every week then you should probably unfollow that person for a little while.
Even if you're a SAHM like me, not bringing in a huge income, you still have a major impact on the finances of your family. You can use that influence to set your family up for success, or impact your budget negatively. We've been there. We've spent too much, saved too little, and wasted lots of money. I promise you can live even more happily with much less.
xoxo,
kelsey
